Lessons Learned The Hard Way

Now, at the end of my fourth decade on this planet, it is not surprising that I think of what I gained in this decade. This was a very turbulent decade for me.

To begin with I went through a personal crisis and the learnings of this period are immense and I can say that in the end I have mostly gained from this chaotic period. What happens when your worst fears come true? What do you do when there is absolutely nothing to lose and when you have hit the rock bottom? You start from scratch and rebuild your life. When your notion of success and failure totally change and when just holding your head above water is success. In my case I literally had to start from earning what is today the basic salary of a rookie reporter…this in spite of having an experience of around 10 years on my CV. My dreams totally changed after this development. While earlier I was trying to make it as a freelance journalist, I had to take up a job to cope with the change in circumstances. Now job is just one aspect of my life.

Though not welcome these experiences enhance your confidence and give you strength to face life’s vicissitudes. When you harness your own inner strength, then the only thing that matters is your own expectations from yourself and all that doesn’t matter falls by the wayside and you are not scared of your insecurities.

For me this was the decade of maximum learnings. Frankly twentys are a blur. I did the expected and conventional things of going to college, doing English honors, followed by a Diploma in journalism and getting married by the age of 25 yrs and presenting everybody with a kid by the time I was 27 yrs old. I somehow lost my dreams and aspirations in fulfilling my parent’s dreams and expectations from me. By the time I was 30 years old, I was an overweight, nagging wife and a frustrated professional with not much in the name of self worth. I vaguely realized that there was something basically wrong with my life but just couldn’t pinpoint what exactly that was.

I have also realized that in spite of our best efforts and best laid plans, sometimes your dreams elude you for no particular reason. This is difficult to accept and excruciatingly tough to cope with. There is no recipe to deal with this and everybody tries to find their own way.   

The biggest learning has been of course that one has to live in the moment. There is no dearth of problems in my life even today but somehow I am confident that I will scrape through.

At a more basic level, I have realized the value of looking good. As my sister never fails to point out, `better late than never.’ Earlier I just didn’t care much, even when people close to me told me that I should lose at least 10 kgs if not more. Now I include some form of exercise in my daily life and try to eat healthy as much as possible. 

However it is important to imbibe these learnings in your life even when the going gets good. Actually, you forget them at your own peril.