Teaching Gender Equations

“Why don’t you work for Times of India?” asked my daughter innocently yesterday. I stared at her not sure how to answer that.

“Actually I used to work for ToI in Hyderabad, when you were a little girl but then I hardly used to get time with you. Would you still want me to work for Times of India?" I asked trying to find out what was going on in her mind. 

"Would you be better paid if you work for ToI?" Question followed by another question... 

"Hmmm...I don't know. I might be but how does that matter. Why do you want me to work for ToI?" 

"We have been reading about gender roles in school and our teacher was saying that many times women don't realise their potential because they have to look after family," she elaborated. 

"Ohh...Well that is true but it is a woman's choice. She can decide what she wants more--family or career. In my case I do want to be with you so I do not want a very stressful job," I explained. 

"But don't you think women should be economically independent?" 

"Yes definitely. But you cannot run away from the fact that women are natural nurturers and care givers. And it is difficult to balance both work and home. Earlier when we weren't able to afford a cook, I had to come home and cook and also ensure that you did your home work besides other household chores. It was just too hectic. Even now whenever there is an inhouse event it gets too hectic for me. Also the household work is important. It cannot be quantified but it is a lot of work." 

"I wouldn't want to compromise on my career because of home," asserted 12-year old.

"Hmmm...it is not so simple. You will realise when you grow up."

"The problem will be solved if women are paid for house work," says the daughter. 

"A great solution I must say but unlikely to be implemented. And I am not sure I want to be paid for putting your clothes in your almirah, ensuring that you drink milk in morning, that you study every day etc but who knows by the time you grow up it becomes a reality." 

And another generation gets ready to face the eternal dilemma...