Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Sunanda Pushkar—Why So Insecure?

Let’s for a moment assume that Shashi Tharoor was having an affair with Pakistani journalist, Mehr Tarar. I am not denying that it is enough to hurt and disturb any woman, howsoever strong she might be. But should it lead to suicide? Should we allow the rage, frustration and disgruntlement to control our emotions and lead us to take our own life?

At one level it is rather intriguing that Sunanda Pushkar was not able to rise above her insecurity. Here is this woman who has made it big in a man’s world. She single handedly brought up her son. The death of her husband and a divorce earlier was not enough to break her but now just the scent of another woman made her so insecure that she by all accounts lost control of her own life.

Should we blame the man in these kind of situations? Why is our self esteem so intrinsically linked to the man in our lives? Why do we put men on pedestal and allow them to control our lives and emotions? Even a strong woman like Sunanda Pushkar was unable to escape the entrapment of giving the reins of her life to her husband?

She should have calmly dealt with the `other woman’. None of us can really ever be prepared for such an unfortunate eventuality. Nevertheless, any situation can be dealt with by remaining calm and cool and not berating it on social networking sites. What can be the consequences of an extra-marital affair: first, your husband leaves you or you decide to walk out of the marriage or you both decide to stick together. Sunanda was no stranger to divorce or being on her own. Was it so scary that death seemed like a better option? Was her ego hurt so badly that living became an insurmountable challenge?

It is rather unfortunate that Sunanda Pushkar lost her life in such a fashion. We women should learn to be the master of our destinies otherwise no amount of financial independence will help us. 

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