It is strange that inspite of our best efforts we sometimes pass on our own insecurities, biases, misgivings and emotional baggage to our children. Because I was never allowed to go on a school trip I ensure that my daughter goes for each and every school trip. Because I enjoy long walks, I think my daughter should also do the same. Because I never cared much for make-up or dolls while growing up, I am surprised that my daughter does (care a lot actually!! here we go again).
As my girl grows and starts to insists on her own opinion, I am starting to realise I should not (read cannot!!) insist on my point of view. It sounds so logical when I write but it is darned difficult to do it though. She will have her own likes and dislikes and I have to accept them, allow her to make mistakes so that she learns from them.
From telling her what to do and what not to do now (all the time) I realise it is now time to keep quiet. Many a times she does exactly what I want her to without my uttering a single syllable (my gal!). But then there are times when she would take a diametrically opposite view and I have to keep my mouth shut.
The effort to not to change her opinion by arguing, insisting etc is hurricane to say the least. I thought I had exhausted my quota of patience but I seem to be managing fine. Letting go as a parent is excruciatingly difficult as any parent will tell you. I know I am still some years away from that but it still scares the hell out of me.
Boy, I do have to learn new skills as a parent all the time...Sigh!!
As my girl grows and starts to insists on her own opinion, I am starting to realise I should not (read cannot!!) insist on my point of view. It sounds so logical when I write but it is darned difficult to do it though. She will have her own likes and dislikes and I have to accept them, allow her to make mistakes so that she learns from them.
From telling her what to do and what not to do now (all the time) I realise it is now time to keep quiet. Many a times she does exactly what I want her to without my uttering a single syllable (my gal!). But then there are times when she would take a diametrically opposite view and I have to keep my mouth shut.
The effort to not to change her opinion by arguing, insisting etc is hurricane to say the least. I thought I had exhausted my quota of patience but I seem to be managing fine. Letting go as a parent is excruciatingly difficult as any parent will tell you. I know I am still some years away from that but it still scares the hell out of me.
Boy, I do have to learn new skills as a parent all the time...Sigh!!
2 comments:
She is YOUR girl. Allow her to think, not only speak out her opinion.
Good point...I need to make her think and maybe come at the same opinion which I want her to...
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