Life Changes

Warning: Read this at your own risk. It is the rant of a middle-aged and a very tired woman.

It is almost three months since I wrote anything here. The last three-four months have been somewhat tough...though frankly I am unable to put a finger as to why they were tough. I am still doing well; the daughter and the husband are fine too but I do feel inertia/indifference to whatever I am doing, which was not the case earlier. 

I go about with my usual work without feeling enthusiasm for anything. I suspect a key reason for this is the profound tiredness, which just refuses to subside. Every night before sleeping I think of the tasks ahead for the coming day and the thought of going through another never-ending day fills me with dread.

The logical conclusion is that I need a break, which didn’t happen this year. Thanks to various circumstances the break is not forthcoming this year, which means that the sooner I get used to activity-filled days the better it is.

Sigh!! Easier said than done. I crave for a time when I don't have anything to do but to just stare at empty wall and drink my coffee to pass time. 

The irony is not lost on me. I am well aware of the fact that many of my friends would happily swipe places with me. I left my job about a month back and am freelancing now, which according to popular perception is the dream of every working executive.

It is believed that I would be having time at my disposal and I can get up in the morning and decide whether I want to work or not. Unfortunately, this is miles away from reality. On a typical day, I decide my professional tasks a day before. Any serious freelancer will tell you that it is extremely important to regularly pitch new ideas, to have regular flow of work while at the same time working on stories which excite you as a writer or journalist.

Coupled with my newfound status as a freelancer is a new development which ensures that I have to drop and pick my daughter every day from extra-curricular activity she has picked up. This particular activity takes up around three hours straightaway and I am unable to work during this time. All this ensures that I am super tired by the end of the day. 

I can safely say that office job was super relaxing compared to all that I am doing now.