Five Things I Would Tell My Younger Self

I read a blog post with this topic some time back and it made me think about the things I would like to tell my younger self. Here they are:

1. Be Yourself: This is one key component which was almost totally missing in my younger self. I was trying too hard to fit in and the effort was exhausting. Since I landed from Kanpur I just did not talk or look the way Delhi kids did. I actually once asked a classmate “what’s CP?” [I knew Connaught Place but not CP. ;)] She looked at me like I had landed from Pluto and I was forever banished. And I used to put oil in my hair, which was a norm in Kanpur but totally uncool in Delhi. I held back my personality out of fear of what people would think. This continued for quite some time till I just decided to stop giving a damn. And Voila! Life was good again. It is important to be true to yourself and accept your own identity and personality.

2. Speak Up: I realized much later in life that I cannot survive without demanding what is my due. The original plan was to keep doing good work and hope somebody would notice it one day. Obviously this was likely to work in fantasy only. I have always noticed men speak up, negotiate and demand their due. Women are somewhat meek and reluctant to get noticed. I was also extremely shy and would want to avoid conflict at any cost. Wish I had known earlier that this was a no brainer. 

3. Live In The Moment: I have said it earlier also in this blog that I learned the hard way to not think about future and to live in the moment. It is extremely difficult to do so. I feel this is especially true of women who like to think and plan for future. And one should do that. But one also has to savor the present. In our quest to plan and prepare ourselves for future, sometimes we forget to enjoy our present.

4. Make New Friends But Cherish Old Ones Also: For a long time in college I was so closely aligned with one friend that it prevented me from making new friends. This is not to say that I didn’t enjoy the friendship of this friend but it was my fault that I never made new friends for about first two years in college. I think my college life would have been a much richer experience if I had made more friends. But new friends should never be at the cost of old ones. Cherish old friendships but please make new friends also.

5. Define Your Own Success: For a long time I measured success with the success of people around me. Nine out of 10 I would be far behind. This is because I come from a family of over-achievers and suffer from really low esteem so I would hardly ever feel good about my achievements. But my success would be different from yours because my journey is different from yours. Chuck the rat race and chart out your own path, where you define your own success.

The problem is that if somebody had told me these things while I was young, I wouldn't have paid heed at all. Ah, the audacity of youth...