I am turning out to be an overbearing mom. But look at the positive side, I am not a helicopter parent, just an overbearing mom. This is mainly because of paucity of time.
I reach home by 7.30 pm or sometimes even later than that. Obviously this means that I hardly get any time with her. Consequently I have to pack a lot in two-three hours. This is also the time when she is very tired and exhausted after her a long day at school so is bound to be cranky and uncoperative. Predictively, I am also dead tired and all I generally want at this time of the day is TV remote and a pillow. So what happens when a tired mom and a tired daughter try to get something done? A shouting match.
Not only do I help her with homework, we also have to eat, watch TV and ensure that we are slightly ahead of the school in all the subjects. And my daughter realises that if she manages to somehow waste this time then there is nothing much I can do except give her a list of things she has to accommpolish the next day.
My friends accuse me of being overbearing. If I think logically I find myself agreeing to an extent. I sometimes use sentences like, "There is no time to argue or discuss or negotiate right now. This has to be done and it has to be done now. So you better hurry up and finish it the next half an hour. That is if you want to watch your favorite show on TV." In fact if I am brutally honest then I use these kind of sentences quiet often.
The other side of the coin is that there really is no time and I have to ensure that the work gets done. I am not over reacting when I say that there is no time to discuss or argue. I know and realise that any kid would want to argue or insist but again if there is no time then you cannot indulge in it.
I hope to change this. My initiative is to plan the day. Khushi has started finishing a lot of her work herself during the day. So my help is required only if we are doing something new or if there is some complicated project work etc. Hopefully this should reduce the stress.
I reach home by 7.30 pm or sometimes even later than that. Obviously this means that I hardly get any time with her. Consequently I have to pack a lot in two-three hours. This is also the time when she is very tired and exhausted after her a long day at school so is bound to be cranky and uncoperative. Predictively, I am also dead tired and all I generally want at this time of the day is TV remote and a pillow. So what happens when a tired mom and a tired daughter try to get something done? A shouting match.
Not only do I help her with homework, we also have to eat, watch TV and ensure that we are slightly ahead of the school in all the subjects. And my daughter realises that if she manages to somehow waste this time then there is nothing much I can do except give her a list of things she has to accommpolish the next day.
My friends accuse me of being overbearing. If I think logically I find myself agreeing to an extent. I sometimes use sentences like, "There is no time to argue or discuss or negotiate right now. This has to be done and it has to be done now. So you better hurry up and finish it the next half an hour. That is if you want to watch your favorite show on TV." In fact if I am brutally honest then I use these kind of sentences quiet often.
The other side of the coin is that there really is no time and I have to ensure that the work gets done. I am not over reacting when I say that there is no time to discuss or argue. I know and realise that any kid would want to argue or insist but again if there is no time then you cannot indulge in it.
I hope to change this. My initiative is to plan the day. Khushi has started finishing a lot of her work herself during the day. So my help is required only if we are doing something new or if there is some complicated project work etc. Hopefully this should reduce the stress.
1 comment:
r u on twitter ?
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