I always feel horribly bad about not being in touch with many people from my school or college. The reasons are manifold. To begin with, I have changed so dramatically over the years that I am unable to connect with people who knew my earlier (boring) version. This is one of the key reasons that it is difficult to continue the friendship. My friends are unable to reconcile my present self with my earlier version. I was a wallpaper in my school and college life and it is my biggest regret. I would sit quietly in one corner and wait for the day to get over. I can't recall speaking for more than two minutes. I was a part of the group but mostly silent, so it is not surprising that I am not in touch with my classmates from college or school. Nobody noticed me because I didn't want anyone to notice me or give me any attention. This doesn't mean that I didn't form any friendships or associations. I did, and thanks to Facebook and Linkedin I do know where most of my friends are. But there is no inclination on either side to be in touch. End result is that I am in touch with very few (but extremely close and priceless) friends.
I would have been in touch with my school friends but for a twist in the tale. I moved from Kanpur to Delhi at a crucial time, around the time I was 14 - 15 years old. There is just too much time gap now. It would have been different if I had attended college in Kanpur. I would have mostly gone to college with my school classmates and we would have had shared memories. I am in touch with some friends from school but that's pretty much it. There are hardly any college memories to bind.
Lastly, I suspect I am an extremely selfish person. Not in the sense that I won't help my friends in time of need. I will go out of my way to help in whatever way I can. But I might not get in touch with a friend for a really long duration and I can put a person out of my mind completely. The reason I might get in touch brings us back to the first point. I have changed so much as a person that I might not have anything to talk about with my college mate. Not that I haven't tried but after a few coffee rendezvous, these meetings generally peter out.
And also my memory is selective. Mostly, I will recall only the good part and completely erase the negatives. This has advantages of course because it means that mostly I have positive memories and only a faint recollection that something unpleasant might have happened at that particular point of time. This also leads to fewer grudges. Works for me :)
PS: The title of this blog post was inspired by a sentence in the novel, Julian Barnes's `The Sense of Ending'. Absolutely loved this book. The ending is awesome. I actually finished it one go. Grab the book now.
I would have been in touch with my school friends but for a twist in the tale. I moved from Kanpur to Delhi at a crucial time, around the time I was 14 - 15 years old. There is just too much time gap now. It would have been different if I had attended college in Kanpur. I would have mostly gone to college with my school classmates and we would have had shared memories. I am in touch with some friends from school but that's pretty much it. There are hardly any college memories to bind.
Lastly, I suspect I am an extremely selfish person. Not in the sense that I won't help my friends in time of need. I will go out of my way to help in whatever way I can. But I might not get in touch with a friend for a really long duration and I can put a person out of my mind completely. The reason I might get in touch brings us back to the first point. I have changed so much as a person that I might not have anything to talk about with my college mate. Not that I haven't tried but after a few coffee rendezvous, these meetings generally peter out.
And also my memory is selective. Mostly, I will recall only the good part and completely erase the negatives. This has advantages of course because it means that mostly I have positive memories and only a faint recollection that something unpleasant might have happened at that particular point of time. This also leads to fewer grudges. Works for me :)
PS: The title of this blog post was inspired by a sentence in the novel, Julian Barnes's `The Sense of Ending'. Absolutely loved this book. The ending is awesome. I actually finished it one go. Grab the book now.
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