Somebody I know (let's call him X) has been in love with a girl for the last 17 years even though there never was any response from the girl, who is now happily married. X, however, remains committed to the girl and has decided never ever marry.
My initial reaction, when I got to know the real reason for the person's singledom was that of awe and then sadness. Awe because almost all of us would have dreamt of inspiring this kind of love and devotion in the other person (but surely will not think of ever being in X's shoes). I also felt a sense of wonder that these things are possible in today's scenario of speed dating.
It is commendable that X has remained committed for such a long time. How many of us would have the courage or conviction to do it. He must have blamed the girl in moments of anger and frustration; must have felt self-pity, must have doubted his actions and through all this, in the end, he remained committed. Amazing.
A feeling which was difficult to escape was that of sadness...sadness for the wasted years, for what could have been. Sadness that X has remained in a time wrap for so long. Ironical that in the process of being committed, X remained unfulfilled as well and unable to live a vital part of his life
No doubt, unrequited love is difficult to deal with for anybody. Most of us would have professed ever lasting love to another person at some time or the other in life but would have never thought of being loyal to memories--at least not for long.
Wonder if this would classify as true love? But is true love self-destructive in nature? Does it stop you from living, stops you from moving ahead in life....
5 comments:
Yeah this sure is love....and yup I too wonder if such love n commitment can exist in this "fast moving" world of today....but look at the end result....while one is happily settled the other is living a life of false hopes....But dats life....never balanced....and love is never reciprocated with the same intensity
Sure commitment is an important part of love...but at the same time, love just cannot be self destructive. It also should be reciprocated otherwise wots the point really?
A false 'self' leads to false assumptions and to a contorted worldview, and often a false sense of being happy (sad). If not controlled effectively, it easily leads to psychological abuse of self.
This guy seems to have a very little experience of his self. Instead, he lived in a world of his own designs, living as a Hero of this self-written love-epic. He, therefore, could not cope with others (of opposites sex) and could not engage himself in the most demanding task of truly loving anyone but himself.
Hi Anonymous, interesting perspective. I agree that he is living "as a hero of this self-written love-epic"...there is definitely a sense of self glorification which makes him continue in such a ridiculous situation...
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